Cards

'Hey, can I swap this for something better?' said Timott, holding out the egg.
'What for?' said the trackie*, giving him a suspicious look.
She'd already been tricked into paying ten bucks for a useless O-week pack, which consisted mostly of discount coupons and a men's magazine which turned out to be full of pictures of women wearing not very much at all. Then she'd been tricked into spending another fifteen on one of those O-week t-shirts, before realising it didn't go with any of her trackie-dacks. Her newly-made friends were waiting to go watch the boys play watermelon rugby, and it didn't look good for her to be talking to this scrawny, rodent-faced hippy kid or his three-eyed friend.
'Fine then!' said Timott. 'I'll take me wares elsewheres.'

'That's not the way to go about it, mate!' said Bricks.
'Why?! What'd I do?' said Timott.
'Well, f' starters she was in a group, and they were goin' somewhere. We're gotta find someone who's on there own an' lookin' bored.'
'Orright then. You find someone.'
'Oh will. That guy over there.'
Bricks pointed to a guy in the long line that snaked its way toward one of the free barbecues**.
'Why that guy?' asked Timott.
'Well,' said bricks, 'nearly everyone else that's queing up is in a sort of cluster; they've qued up with their mates so they can talk while they wait. This poor sod's all on 'is own; not talkin' ta anyone. So 'e more likely to pay attention ta me offer.'
'Orright.'
Bricks went up to the guy, closesly followed by Timott.

''Ey, can propose a deal to ya?' Bricks asked the guy.
Drew had been waiting in the que for fifteen minutes and was pretty bored.
'What is it?' he responded.
'Can I swap this wonderful egg for somethin' better?'
A wobbly grin appeared on Drew's face.
'What like?'
'Oh d'nno. What've ya got that y'd be willing to swap?'
'Um, what about a pack've cards?'
'Yeah, that soun's good,' said Bricks.
Drew reached into his backpack, pulled out a pack of playing cards and gave it to Bricks. Bricks gave him the egg.
'Pleased to do business with you, sir,' said Bricks.
Drew eventually got his sausage, ate it, went home and put the egg in the fridge. The next morning he cooked it in his frying pan, along with two rashers of bacon, which he ate for breakfast. This high-cholestrol breakfast contributed to a heart-attack which killed him fifty-four years later.

*Physical Education or Human Movement student. Frequently sighted wearing tracksuit pants, sports shoes and sunglasses. The male variety are known for their loud voices and their habit of pushing each other around all the time. These students always travel in herds, and make up a majority of the student population at the University of Ballarat's Mt Helen campus.

**As long as you can live on sausages for five days, it's impossible to starve during O-week. Each day there are at least three free barbecues being run by the various clubs and societies in an effort to convince new and returning students to join up.